A love story

I absolutely love my family! I’m not just referring to my immediate family, that goes for my extended family of cousins, Aunts & Uncles too! I feel so lucky to have so many moments of laughter and good ol’ family fun. The holidays & weekends at Devils Lake hold so many meaningful (and funny) childhood memories. The downside to having a big close family full of love & laughter is that there are more times for hurt. With the years passing, we all age and some become less healthy and the inevitable happens where we all end up meeting up at a funeral.

My Uncle and Godfather, Spencer Dixon, passed away last Monday. He fought a long battle with heart disease and was ready to go to “the other side” in the sky. His 3 daughters and wife were thankfully by his side and his son, Jeff, was waiting to greet him at the pearly gates.

Last week I pondered death and what happens next. Because if heaven is a thing, there’s a very fun group up there now. My Dad, Grandparents, cousins, Uncles and a couple of my Dad & Spencer’s life-long friends. I mean, I’m kinda jealous of the VIP’s hanging together up there. While I’m not in a hurry to find out what truly happens next, I’m content visualizing it as a giant camp Granada in the sky?

My Uncle Spencer met his Bride, my Aunt Barb and Godmother, over 60 years ago! They were married 56 years and had 4 children. Like most marriages there were ups and downs over the years. As I grew up, I watched from the sidelines. Their eldest, Jeff was like a second brother and the girls were younger than me by enough years that I thought I was MUCH older and wiser? To be honest, I was a bit on the jealous side. They had the country club house, the lake house, boats & jet skis; all of our holidays were celebrated at their house, they had it all! Over time the economy, life, and my uncles health took some of those material items away. But what held steady was them & their beautiful love story.

We all know it’s easy when everything is going well and it feels like the sky is the limit, but when life gets tough and it becomes harder to get out of bed in the morning with a smile on your face. Those are the real tests. That’s when a marriage becomes a bit more work. I truly admire the strength and commitment that I’ve observed in my Godparents over the past several decades. While nobody is perfect and I’m sure they’ve had their fare share of human moments, I admire what they accomplished together. They didn’t give up. They fought together to the very end.

My cousins and Aunt asked my brother and I to eulogize Uncle Spence. When asked, my eyes welled up and of course I said yes. My brother said to me “just remember, it’s not about our memories, it’s about theirs” which put me on my mission and made it quite clear why we were asked and what they hoped we could accomplish. Here’s what I said……

“We are all here to honor Spencer Dixon. He was something to all of us. To me he & Barb were my Godparents. Little did I know he had 2 other god daughters. I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL! I thought I was the only Goddaughter. Why? Because he was good at making us feel special.

I asked Barb, Erin, Kelly & Katy what they would say about Spencer if they could speak during the funeral and their answers were profound & so meaningful.

Aunt Barb said “if she was on trial for her life she’d want him to be on the jury…because he was so fair. He was loyal and so kind. He was her buddy & best friend.”

Katy said, “he loved us so much! We wanted for nothing. He always made us feel individually special.” 18 years ago I was driving her from Columbus to Toledo to say goodbye to him because it didn’t look as if he was going to recover from his stroke. When we arrived Aunt Barb was over him saying “you’re gonna fight Spencer! We’re not ready for you to go!” He did fight. He fought for 18 years and gave Katy one last moment to feel special when he was able to be at her wedding.

I then asked Kelly what she would say about Spence and she replied with “dad was always present. Wether it was on the golf course with Erin, a swim or diving meet with Kate & I or teaching us to water ski…HE WAS ALWAYS PRESENT.” To me, that’s what we all could only hope would be said about us. While building and running a business he was still present in his families life. Now…THAT’S a legacy!

And finally, I asked Erin, the oldest of the 3 girls. Her reply was “my dad always had a smile for my mom & she for him. Even in a moment when there were no words that could be said…On the ride back from Michigan after the loss of Jeff. Spencer looked at Barb and said ‘what do we talk about?’ She replied ‘nothing there are no words.’ In a moment, when there were no words, they simply held hands and hummed together.”

That might be one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. What a love story!

There was one child that I could not ask what he would say about his father in his passing, so I asked his sisters “what would Jeff say about Spence if he were here?” They all replied with “wow…that’s a tough one” so I went to my brother and asked him to fill in that blank. Troy & Jeff were best friends for almost 30 years and I knew he’d have the answer. And he did!”

Troy approached the back of the room where I was standing. After a couple classic opening jokes, he said “Jeff would say Thank You. He would thank Spence for taking care of his Mom and helping her raise his 3 beautiful sisters. He would say in a humorous way that all three of the girls were individually just like him? He would tell everyone in the room to keep a happy spirit, not take themselves to seriously and always have fun!”

Troy delivered a perfect tearful ending to my speech. What we all can hold in our hearts is that Jeff was able to tell Spencer what he would have said at his funeral the moment he greeted him across the pearly gates in heaven. That day, Jeff was the lucky sibling and Spencer was a very happy Father.

The funeral weekend was full of so much laughter and family love. We may just get together for weddings, funerals and holidays, but we sure do enjoy each other’s company to the fullest when together. It may have been us gathering for sad reason, but we always know how to make memories. Spencer led the Dixon 7 through many years of closeness & memories. My cousins and I are so lucky that our parents have all stayed so close as siblings, intern keeping us so close as cousins. It’s now our job to instill the importance of family and closeness keeping our children and their children and so forth close for years to come. #DIXONSROCK

RIP Uncle Spencer. Your smile will be missed by many but never forgotten.