Cheers for Tears…

Today is the day we say farewell to 2018 and welcome 2019. We reflect on the good, bad and ugly that is now in the past. We set goals, pray and wish for the best year ever. Is that really a thing? BEST YEAR EVER?!? I’d say so, but I can’t quite pin point what year of my 45 thus far I’d consider to be the “best”, so maybe it hasn’t happened yet. Or Maybe the 1st year was the best…12 months of blissful growth while my parents made sure they kept me alive, fed, bathed & clothed with a roof over my head. Not a worry in the world, no responsibilities, just required to eat, sleep, poo, cry, smile, crawl, talk and walk. PHEW! That actually could be one of the most accomplished years considering there were so many milestones met and apparently I didn’t fail at any of them. So maybe, just maybe, my first year actually was the “best”? Naahhh!

I don’t know that I could pick a best or worst, but would say 2018 is in the lead for one of the worst. I don’t intend to be Debbie Downer and dwell on all that was bad, or only look at the negative, therefore I’ll attempt to reflect on 2018 with a positive spin.

One of our first neighbors, Chris Walter, from the ol’ Riverbrook neighborhood once said a very wise statement that has stuck with me through the years. I was pregnant with Maria and he said that “every age has pros & cons, challenges and rewards” as we parent and attempt to raise fabulous human beings. Well, those words couldn’t be more true. Not just as a parent, but in life. Each year has good and bad. Some years, one far outweighs the other, but regardless we’re making memories and get to choose how & what we learn from each year.

I remember being in college and my dad would give a title to each year. I don’t recall the order, but there was “the year of the tow, year of the ticket, year of the injury, year of ____” I forget them all, but it was a funny spin on some crappy things that occurred throughout the year.

I think 2018 has been the year of the tear. Many events have occurred this year that led to tears. Some happy, but mostly sad tears. (I’m not forgetting that I mentioned earlier that I won’t reflect in a Debbie-downer fashion, so bare with me here.) The year of the tear for me may actually end up being the best year because I’ve cried so many tears. I’ve cried for others & myself. I’ve cried alone in my office, car, house and a few times with a family member or friend. So why would a year full of tears and many sad moments be the best? Because I’m human. At the young age of 45 I’m learning that it’s ok to cry. More-so, it’s actually helpful and isn’t as much of a sign of weakness as I thought it was for so many years.

Emotions are interesting and can be quite annoying at times, but we have them for a reason. Suppressing them isn’t really a cool-kid thing after all. Ironically as I sit here typing this, I’m watching (ok, listening to) the Grinch with Gina & Julia and the first thing the Grinch does when his heart is warmed and he is “humanized” is CRY. He bawls like a baby. We watched “inside-out” over this break too and the sadness character ends up saving the day at the end when the main character breaks down and just allows herself to cry and own her emotions.

Isn’t it so interesting that we are born crying, it’s our first means of communicating, and as we get older we get further and further from understanding that tears can be pretty damn amazing. After my dad passed, I’d find myself bursting into tears out of the blue, and completely taken back by my lack of control over my emotions. While hating the act of crying, each time that occurred, I felt better.

I also find it odd that crying can happen with ALL emotions. We cry when we’re hurt, mad, sad AND happy! It’s crazy-town! Especially since with every year that passes, our natural reaction to tears is to fight them back. Did you know crying has many benefits?

1. Has a soothing effect

2. Gets support from others

3. Helps to relieve pain

4. Enhances mood

5. Releases toxins and relieves stress

6. Aids sleep

7. Fights bacteria

8. Improves vision

So since crying looks to be beneficial and waterproof mascara is not so deadly to the lashes anymore, I’d say what I took from 2018 is that crying is like the new yoga. Crying while doing yoga might be where’s its at for 2019. Maybe I’ll start a cry movement, topped off with an annual “it’s cool to cry day”??‍♀️

We may look like weirdos while crying, but considering emotions aren’t going anywhere and life isn’t going to get much easier as we age, I figure it’s a good time to embrace it!

So cheers to tears in 2019 and a Happy HEALTHY New Year!