Have you heard of DABDA? The 5 Stages of grief or loss.
Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.
15 months ago – lost my dad
7 months ago – lost my Tata’s
5 months ago – lost my hair
2 months ago – lost my Godfather
6 weeks ago – lost Uncle Bill
5 weeks ago – lost Uncle Tom
1 week ago – lost Road Trip Rewind!
Yes folks, the desired end to a long lists of losses didn’t happen! The win was within reach and slipped through our hands. It came down to me and couple other folks (I believe) and the winner was able to bolt for the trip within days of finding out they won. Us 4 moms couldn’t drop everything and go right away, which is why I believe we lost!
When I found out I was a finalist it seemed beyond unbelievable! With 100’s, maybe 1000 entries, we were part of the top 3. To be so close & lose is often worse. We so badly wanted (or needed) a positive to erase the negative of this year. BUT, no use crying over spilled milk, because I can’t change it now. I can’t make them realize they made a huge mistake and nobody is cooler than my college BFF’s and me? Although we lost, it at least has motivated my friends and I to schedule our own version of “road trip rewind” in 2020.
Yes, this year has had its fair share of loss but there’s been many positives as well. Relationships have grown closer with family and friends. My mental strength has been put to the test and solidified what I’m capable of enduring. My appreciation for life and living in the moment has improved which I hope will hold steady. I’ve been in awe of the closeness and generosity our St. Brendan community has to offer. Overall, I must admit that the positives equal and potentially outweigh the many negatives of the year thus far.
When it comes to DABDA, wether it be loss of loved one or loss of a fun filled contest, I’m thinking I tend to waiver between denial, anger and acceptance. It does indeed depend on the day. Acceptance is tough in any type of loss. We often want nothing more than to change the outcome, but it’s out of our control, therefore we must accept to maintain sanity.
There are several months left in the year to make priceless memories and reflect upon all that is great & positive in life. I have 2 surgeries left and am in the home stretch of having the “bad” behind me.
Today I’m off to reconstruction “phase 2” surgery, so wish me luck! September 27th is hip replacement so I’ll be counting down the days/weeks to my FINAL surgery of 2019 and hopefully final for many many years.
You’re all the bomb-diggity and I appreciate your support every day! I’ll be posting more as my chemo brain seems to be lifting as well. The “fog” I’ve been in coupled with busyness has kept me from focusing on the FOMOzone. Stay tuned for more soon❤️
Prayers for today’s surgery! You will do great, as you have done through this entire journey. Your girls are blessed to have you as their “rock star” mom!
You got this Dene’. Stay strong & positive ,lots of prayers coming your way.
Good luck!!!! You got this! You are such an inspiration to so many of us. I can only hope that I am half the person you are! This year has definitely had its ups and downs but I can honestly say that the amount of times I got to see you and our girls got to bond is beyond AMAZING to me! Get through these last couple bumps and carry on with your fabulous life! I love you and I am here with you every step of the way ❤️❤️❤️