Random Acts of Kindness

I LOVE PEOPLE!

It’s true, I’ve always been a people person. I’m that mom that annoys the kids because I make friends with folks in line at the grocery store, mall, in an elevator, you name the place I’m talking to someone. Shy is indeed NOT my middle name. My husband has stated that I walk into a room (aka bar) and leave with 10 new friends…Always the infamous “social chair”.

Someone once said to me “you command attention” – I immediately was taken back because “demand” was the word that registered in my brain which didn’t sound like a good thing. “Commanding attention” did feel better once I was corrected. It is a bit interesting when I reflect upon it. Maybe commanding attention has helped lead to meeting so many people in my 45 years on this earth??‍♀️

Today a received a card from a blast from the past friend whom made a big impact on my life. She may not realize it, but without her, I wouldn’t have several relationships I have now. Monique (Joshua) Winters was basically who “recruited” me to become an Alpha Xi Delta. Her and Heidi (Ocker) Solar. The process is a bit more involved, but they were my main ladies. Becoming a “Fuzzie” led to many friendships I have today and memories of a lifetime. It’s been so long since I’ve seen Monique, I truly can’t remember the last time. I’m sure it was at the Varsity Club decades ago at Homecoming or something. Then when I checked the mail & found I received a card from Monique, I was floored. I opened a very sweet, thoughtful card cheering me on in this battle. For her to take the time and send me an inspiration note out of the blue is what makes a crazy world pleasant. (Monique and I Circa 1992)

A week or so ago I head to the mailbox and had received a card from my cousin’s father-in-law. It had an amethyst necklace attached to the card defining amethyst as a stone of healing. I put the necklace on immediately.

Along this journey there’s been many random acts of kindness from cards, to food, gift cards, ornaments for the pink tree (Which, btw, will be up until this year of surgeries and chemo is over), texts, gifts, etc. Maybe I’ll keep “commanding attention” if it means more fabulous people can be in my life.

Growing up I went to Little Flower Catholic school in Toledo. During that time I really liked the consistency of being with the same people for 8 years. I liked the constant of the same classmates, teachers, bus-ride, etc. (Now when I went to public High School with mostly strangers and never had a locker or been in a cafeteria before, it was a bit of a shock…but that’s a story for another day.) I recently laughed with one of my best childhood friends, Kelly (Vendemo) Drake about one moment at the end of 7th grade when I woke up to the words “I LOVE YOU DENE” spray painted on my street! It was GIANT and took up the entire street alongside my yard. I remember waking my mom and being flattered and mortified simultaneously. Best part – it was right where I had to stand and wait for the bus. Talk about embarrassment! It was a 8th grade boy I just started talking to and was a bit intimidated by. I had no idea his soon to be freshman self had fallen “in love” with my 13 year old self from afar. Pretty sure I never saw or spoke to him again because school was over and he was off to high school. Apparently I “commanded” his attention ?

Anywho, during my days at Little Flower one of my friends was Jenny Flagg. We went to different high schools but managed to stay in touch a bit through college. She remained very good friends with Kelly. Unfortunately post college we lost track of each other until Facebook. BUT low and behold the first card I received after announcing my diagnosis publicly came from Jenny. She sent gift cards for food for the family as well. She then sent another card about a month later. This is someone I literally haven’t seen in over 20 years! Another random act of kindness that put a huge smile on my face.(Little Flower graduation. Jenny in green on the left)

People from far and near have reached out to encourage me. Complete strangers & those I’ve known for just a short time have dropped gifts at my front door or typed encouraging words on my blog. Can you see why I LOVE PEOPLE!

This week I received a chemo care package from the Williams. A local St. Brigid family we met last year during softball season. We spent one season together coaching and cheering for our girls. We watched the girls battle against each other this past basketball season as well. Such a short time together and a year later Candie is dropping off a beautiful bag filled with a blanket, my new favorite yeti, reading material, and other goodies which I feel is so thoughtful! At the beginning of my chemo I received a similar care package from a friend of a friend. She’s had her own battle with breast cancer and offered a great conversation during my surgery decision making process. We’ve not even met face-to-face and she took the time to drop that gift off on my porch. Last week a friend from recent years past reached out via Facebook and will be bringing lunch after my next chemo session. Last night I had dinner with my (Zenith) volleyball Mom’s and they brought me an amazing beach bag full of goodies for my trip next week. Soon to be equipped with my Micheal Jackson (medical) face-mask for the plane to ward off the cooties (aka germs).

What in the world did I do to receive all this love and support?!?

I bring all this up to highlight that people truly are amazing, especially when you’re not even looking or asking for anything. Folks that you haven’t seen in years or even met once want to brighten my day. With all the negativity we hear in the news on the daily, today I want to point out the positive . There are soooo many great people out there in and out of our lives with giant hearts that just want to do whatever they can to lend a helping hand! And guess what? IT WORKS! As much as I’ve tried to maintain a positive attitude, to go through this as another chapter that soon will end, to be me and maintain some “normalcy” for myself and family, I still have shitty moments and/or days. But when those moments hit, it seems almost simultaneous a random act of kindness comes along and lifts me up. The moments of weakness suck, but I try to shove them off and move forward as fast as possible. If I get stuck feeling sorry for myself, it gets me nowhere quickly. BUT you PEOPLE are keeping me focused on the task at hand.

Not gonna lie – I really don’t want to spend my days feeling or being treated as a patient. Yes, I’m in the midst of BS caused by cancer. Yes, I get angry or frustrated wondering why this happened. But every moment I have doing things I love that doesn’t feel interrupted by cancer feels fab. Those “normal” moments keep happening because fantabulous people are not shying away from the invite to dinner or the party, to be asked to coach, to belly up to the bar to watch basketball. One of the best recent offers came yesterday from my friend said “I’ll just bring my 6 pack and lay with you and watch games if that’s all you’re up for”. She knows I’m a March Madness guru and hate that chemo fell on today, but what a great offer?? People are not only reaching out with gifts, food and kind gestures they’re still simply just letting me be me and not avoiding what may feel taboo to the “chemo patient”.

I can only hope to pay it forward to others in the same manner now and when this train wreck ends. I’m guilty of having great, thoughtful ideas and not executing. I don’t know why, but I sure wish now that I did. All of the above mentioned truly is meaningful and helps me to keep positive during a rough time. To snuggle up with the blanket, coloring the f-cancer pages drinking from a coffee mug that says “you got this” wearing the amethyst necklace, reading the card(s) you just received, is so priceless!

Thank you all again for being my prayer warriors and cheerleaders throughout this chapter in my life. You give me the strength to “just keep going”.