YOU DID IT!

This guy right here is my big brother Troy. Doesn’t he look quite dapper in his 1970’s suit. This post is a bit of a tribute to him. Today he officially retires! Adios corporate America, this Mexican Hill-billy from Toledo OH has set, met and exceeded goals beyond his own comprehension. A little over a month shy of his 53rd birthday he gets to look back at his years of work, education, guess-work, education, more work and can now say “I DID IT”!

I’m confident he doesn’t want a lot of attention around the matter, therefore I’m just going to broadcast it to the masses on his behalf. Sorry bro, but someone’s gotta do it, right?!?

Troy and I are almost 8 years apart in age. We have different fathers but I don’t think I even realized that until I was almost 10. Maybe not that old, but I swear I was pretty oblivious to the fact that we were “half siblings”. Probably because it didn’t matter! He had 2 dads, 2 moms, 2 sisters and a brother. I had Troy, my parents, and a lot of cousins. So there was always excitement and the usual family chaos.

Growing up with an 8 year age difference Troy was often more like a second father. I think I have just as many Troy, the big brother memories as I do Troy, the 2nd dad memories.

The “big brother” memories were along the lines of being introduced to music from the Who, Tom Petty and J.Giles band through the walls of our 1000 square foot home. I recall Troy having friends over and letting me play quarters with them (with orange juice) so I wouldn’t tell my parents he had a party. I remember never being able to eat a meal without him stealing something off my plate. I went to his basketball games and recall thinking it was so cool to have a high school brother. The Downside – his friends called him “Dix”, therefore I was “little Dix” which was NOT COOL!

I managed to survive being “little Dix” until he graduated and went off to Ohio State. Troy was a caddy at Inverness Country club in Toledo during High School. He later became an Evans Scholar which was a scholarship awarded to Caddy’s and provided a full ride to Ohio State. I remember Troy always saying that he “was paid to go to school”. I, on the other hand, graduated 25k in the hole but we don’t need to expand upon that at the moment.

I was 10 when he graduated high school and went off to Ohio State. I don’t remember the actual High School graduation, but do remember the party…surprise surprise! My mother played Let’s Hear it for the Boy as a sort of “theme song” for him at the party and I seem to remember that so vividly. I think I rolled my eyes when she played the song and probably got in trouble for making fun of her?

I also remember his move to OSU like it was yesterday, I decided at that moment I was going to College there too. The Evans scholar house was on 14th and I remember driving down 15th, then pearl alley to 14th and that was it…I was sold! There were students everywhere! They were laying out on roof tops, drinking at the tomatoe, throwing footballs in front of frat houses, it was the coolest thing my 10 year old eyes had seen! We went to orientation then checked out the stadium. I ran the stairs to the top of the stadium, turned around and did the Rocky arms up move and laughed at my dad because he couldn’t make it to the top. OHIO STATE WAS THE COOLEST PLACE IN ALL THE LAND!

Of course the next 8 years were different with big bro being in Columbus but he’d be home holidays, summers & such. I remember him working summers black tarring roads. I thought that sounded miserable, but he was Mr. Smart Guy and wanted to make as much money as possible and was willing to do the grunt work. Me – I chose jobs like video connection & babysitting as my first jobs?

Here’s where we transition into his role being more father-like and inspiration. Well, he was always an inspiration, I just didn’t fully realize it until I was older. During my teen years when my Dad asked if I wanted to caddy I laughed at him. I didn’t even want to touch a golf club for recreation let alone work. I looked at Troy’s accomplishments as stuff I wouldn’t achieve. I was the ADHD kid that had a stellar social game but lacking in the scholastics. Not gonna lie, I went through a Bitter-Betty stage coupled with some jealousy during the teen years when I looked at Troy’s accomplishments. By my High School years Troy was already a College Grad. He began to push my buttons that would eventually lead to long term successes for me. Of course I had no clue there was some method behind the madness. To me he was “parenting” from afar. Asking about my grades, interrogating about the boyfriend, having the local cousins keep an eye on me…you get the gist. I’ll never forget asking my older cousin Jeff to buy my friends and I alcohol my Junior year and his reply was “NO-WAY! Your brother would kick my ass if I bought you beer”. That led to be a wise decision on Jeff’s part because we proceeded to get busted that night with the beer we paid my neighbor to buy. OOPS!

As I graduated from High School and successfully got into THE Ohio State University my brother was still on the side-lines observing and “parenting”. He lived in Hilliard only 20 minutes away from my dorm. One month into being on campus he called and said “you must be getting aquatinted ok because you’ve been here for over a month and I haven’t heard from you” YEP, I was more than aquatinted! I was already BFF’s with the girls across the hall, I rushed a sorority and to me Hilliard was like Nova Scotia. I had successfully escaped Toledo and independence from all things “parental” was fabulous.

Throughout the college years Troy’s subtle inquiries consisted of “you flunk out yet?” or “make it to any classes this week?” – he was so encouraging! Of course those statements were actually genius because he knew how to push the buttons. He knew the reverse psychology was what it took to motivate me. I remember if I got a bad grade in college I was more concerned about Troy’s reaction than my parents. THANK GOD, because without Troy’s nudge I may not have graduated. There were several experiences I wouldn’t have had without him.

Since my college GPA was lower than it should’ve been I needed to start getting some “resume building” internships. I recall a few girls in my sorority working for University Directories and said I would be perfect for the job. Low confidence Dene’ disagreed and the day the company was on campus I procrastinated until the very last interview of the day. (At the time I was in a full leg immobilizer because I tore my meniscus). In my mind I wasn’t going to get the job and hobbling across campus sounded horrible. Well, I went. I had Troy’s voice in the back of my head saying “just go, see what happens”. Of course I get the job offer. I was the last interview of the recruiters long day of apparently not meeting the right person. When he called me the next day with the offer my reaction was, SHIT! I can’t do this! I called Troy and he was excited for me. I said, nope, I’m not doing it! The job was in Chicago, I didn’t know anyone, and didn’t have a car. Low & behold Troy FRICKING BOUGHT ME A CAR. Therefore, I was out of excuses. I packed that car up, drove to Chicago, and had a great experience! I didn’t really like the job, but my confidence was boosted by doing it. Cold-calling selling yellow page advertising in the Northwestern Campus Directory was a job that wasn’t made for everyone. I was happy & proud I did it, and beyond thankful Troy helped make it happen.

The following summer an opportunity to drive cross-country to California with friends presented itself and again I was left in a bit of a pickle. I was going to decline joining them because of lack of funds, but big bro handed over some cash and his BP card. Troy to the rescue again! That trip was also amazing! We drove from Columbus to Cali and back & saw everything you could in between…from Mt. Rushmore to Lake Tahoe, Yosemite, Las Vegas, the list goes on & on.

Troy even helped keep me in the sorority when I ran out money to pay for it. He truly was such a huge contributor to many of my best college memories and gave me the constant reminder that I was actually there for a diploma and needed to stay focused. I graduated Spring “97 and who was my driver to the big day…Troy. (Or course we were almost late, but that was kinda predictable.) By my graduation I was dating Jimmy and of course Troy loved him and the two of them became great friends. I recall Troy once saying “if anything ever happened between you and Jimmy, I might have a tough time deciding between you” HA! That better not be true, but I don’t think he’ll need to worry about that anyway.

If we fast forward to now, Troy was with me the day I found out I had cancer. He was there for my surgery and has called continuously to check on me throughout the past 4 months. He’ll be here for one of my chemo sessions and I know will continue his big brother “parent” role for years to come. Last year when dad passed away he took the lead in planning and helped make that moment easier for me as well.

I set out to post today to congratulate Troy for his many accomplishments that led to this exciting day of retirement. It may seem as if I got off track at times or transitioned from him to me. But the stories are worth sharing & contribute to the tale of him and part of his legacy. The stories define why I am so thankful for him and have such a deep respect & truly feel he is an inspiration. He set several goals from his youth and throughout his career as an adult. His retirement today displays his ability to meet every one of those goals and excel to heights I could only hope to meet.

Troy – I want to remind you that many of my successes are owed to you & I’m so very thankful to have you in my life! I’m beyond excited & proud of you for this day! I hope you own your accomplishments and know what you’ve accomplished is the product of determination, tenacity and confidence. I love you bigger than United States and Canada!

YOU DID IT DIX! YOU DID IT!!!!